Hey, Baby(Pan)Cakes (Low-Carb Pancakes)

Oh, you’ve been searching for years in hopes of finding the world’s biggest pancake aficionado?

How coincidental.

I am her.

I love pancakes. (I reserve the italicizing of “love” only for references to my husband, popcorn, Christmas, boot camp, and, well… pancakes.

But in case you weren’t aware, pancakes love you back. In fact, they love you so much they usually decide to stick around – either as a rock in your tummy for the rest of the day or cleverly disguised as some extra padding around the thighs.

And that’s why I hate pancakes (and I reserve the italicizing of hate for hummers, California traffic, and Jersey Shores).

Until now.

Now I make pancakes for dinner just about every night (don’t worry, my husband usually gets more variety). Below are two of my favs. And although I can’t really decide which I like best, both are delicious, nutritious, and totally customizable. Throw in a few berries, a spoonful of peanut butter (aka heaven on a spoon), cinnamon and nutmeg, almond extract – the possibilities are endless. You could even make these savory with some herbs and fry them up like johnnycakes. No, I have no idea what a johnnycake actually is, but I think I learned a song about them in elementary school.

Cottage Cheese Cakes

3 tablespoons oat or wheat bran

½ cup cottage cheese

½ cup liquid egg whites (or egg substitute)

Splash of Da Vinci SF vanilla syrup (or sweetener of choice)

Dump all ingredients into a food process and process til smooth. You can whisk this too, but I get a fluffier pancake using the processor (or blender).

Pour about a third of the batter into a griddle (or frying pan) greased with cooking spray and cook for 3 minutes (at least) on each side. Be sure to let them set up well before turning, or you’ll have scrambled pancakes (which is still delicious – believe me, I’ve eaten them).

Top with spray butter, sugar free maple syrup, natural jam, peanut butter, or fresh berries.

High-Protein Cakes

1/3 cup Atkins bake mix (or any combination of soy flour, almond meal, vital wheat gluten, and almond meal)

1/3 cup unsweetened plain almond or coconut milk

1/3 tablespoons liquid egg white (or egg substitute)

1 teaspoon baking powder

Splash of Da Vinci SF vanilla syrup (or sweetener of choice)

Follow the instructions for the cottage cheese cakes above, although this one is pretty easy to whisk without a processor or blender.

Both recipes yield about 3 good-sized pancakes, and about 200 calories (give or take).

I usually stick to sugar free syrup, but lately I've been topping these bad boys with PB2, which, if you're unfamiliar, is delicioso. Sure, powdered peanut butter may not sound exactly appetizing, but trust me on this one. I get it through Amazon and prefer the chocolate (because why wouldn't I?).

Thai Me Up! (Low-Carb, Slow-Cooked Peanut Tomato Chicken)

Two recipes in and I’ve already proclaimed by undying affection for peanut butter (I know it’s a little soon, but I’m a stage-five clinger when it comes to legumes). But you know who else is nuts about peanuts?

Thailand.

That little country and I may differ in opinions over religion and the appropriate endings to deep-tissue massages, but as far as cuisine is concerned, we couldn’t see more eye to eye (well, eye-to-chin maybe – I am 5-foot-8).

The Thai know how to do flavors right. Coconut, ginger, curry, peanuts – it’s all a beautifully spun web of deliciousness. And while I can’t proclaim to be a Thai chef – I hardly know where to even find some of those ingredients – I love incorporating a few favorite ingredients into easy, delicious dinners.

Which brings us back to peanut butter. Peanut butter mixed with ginger, tomatoes, cumin, garlic….

Are you sold yet? What if I also said that I spent 10 minutes throwing this in a slow cooker yesterday morning using mostly ingredients I had on hand, only to be perfectly stewed for a 6 pm dinner+Academy Awards date on our couch last night?

Bingo.

To satiate my “healthy-but-not-SOOO-healthy” hubby, I served this with brown rice and some delicious heavy cream drop biscuits:

That was a test. You looked at the carbs, didn’t you? Fail.

As for me, I ate this alone as a stew, garnished with chopped peanuts and pretty little green onions.

Beat that, Bangkok.

(Okay, don’t, because we all know you can.)

1 lb boneless skinless chicken thighs or 1 -1 ½ lb boneless skinless chicken breast (I used 2 large frozen)

1 (28 ounce) can diced tomatoes with juice

1 cup chicken stock

¼ cup peanut butter (preferably natural)

¹⁄₂ cup diced onion

1 garlic clove (minced)

1 tablespoon grated fresh ginger

2 teaspoon cumin

½ teaspoon cinnamon

¼ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (or more if desired!)

1 teaspoon salt

¼ teaspoon pepper

2 teaspoons Splenda

Garnish:

Chopped dry-roasted peanuts

Chopped green onions

Dump it all into your slow cooker (PS did you know they make crock pot LINERS?! My mind is blown).

Cook on high for 2 hours. Switch to low and cook an additional 3-4 hours. Shred chicken and stuff face (elegantly).

(Peanut) Butter Me Up (Low-Carb Peanut Butter Cookies)

I confess; up until I met my hubby RP, I was unsure that I could generate the same feelings for a man as I held for peanut butter. Smooth and satisfying, with a flavor you just can’t tire of, PB may just be the perfect man – aside from the fact that it’s 100% legume and 0% human.

Trivial detail, but one that hasn’t prevented me from taking an entire jar with me to bed (a factoid I’m not particularly proud of).

But what could be better than smooth, creamy peanut butter? Sweet, chewy peanut butter cookies, of course.

You’ve likely seen this super-simple peanut butter cookie recipe before. What could be easier (to make and to remember) than a simple 1 cup pb/1 cup sugar/1 egg combination? It was my go-to “bake for men to appear domestic” recipe in college due to the fact that I never had actual baking ingredients, and a sugar-free version made with Splenda basically supplemented my Costco frozen meatballs diet for a good three years during those university days (when I could afford Splenda, that is).

I have revisited this recipe in years, mostly due to the fact that the Splenda version creates a crumbly mess of a cookie, and I was rarely very good at not eating the entire batch.

But now that I’ve discovered the modern marvel that is erythritol, I decided to give this one more go. I thought the graininess of the E (not to be confused with a totally different substance) might lend to a chewier texture, and I was so right. These are fantastic in the freezer, as they don’t get super hard (thanks to that PB fat), so you can keep them fresh for way longer than it’ll take you to eat the entire batch.

Guilt-Free PB

1 cup peanut butter (I used Skippy natural, which has palm oil instead of peanut, but better for baking than 100% au natural.)
1 cup erythritol
¼ tsp stevia extract
2 eggs
½ tsp vanilla extract
½ tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt (if there’s no salt in your PB)

Blend the peanut butter and erythritol until creamy. Add the eggs, vanilla, stevia, baking powder and salt (if using) and blend until combined. It’ll look like this:


Try not to eat it all (but definitely taste-test).

Roll into small balls onto ungreased cookie sheet. I aimed for 20, but only got 18 out of the dough. I then attempted to make pretty little criss-crosses with my fork like peanut butter cookies of yore, but the dough was pretty sticky so I had to settle for these hot messes:


Bake about 12 minutes at 350 degrees. Let cool, or eat one cookie that’s so hot you burn your tongue just because you don’t want to wait any longer. Then eat another after they cool. Then another before bed (the last one is optional).

Store in the freezer, or wherever you like (nightstand?).

Voila! So good to be so close again, dear peanut butter.

Zucchini Love (Low-Carb, Sugar-free Zucchini Bread)

Like just about anything disguised as a healthy vegetable but nearly entirely comprised of oil, sugar, and white flour, I loooove me some zucchini bread.

Sadly, ZB and I broke up back in high school, when I traded him for not shopping at Lane Bryant and the opportunity to possibly go on a date someday.

I've been zucchini-bread-less ever since. You might say it's cut me to the quick-bread (it had to be said).

But I've been experimenting a bit of late. And when I saw those gorgeous green squashes (doesn't that sound better than plain old "squash?") at the farmer's market this week, I knew they were destined to grace my loaf pan.

That got my wheels turning a bit, and with a bit of creativity and a whole lot of substitutions, I came up with something quite delicious. Not to mention that this protein-packed snack weighs in at only 100 calories a slice (which is great for those of us who never have just one slice of anything).

Zucchini Miracle (Low carb/low fat/sugar-free/low cal)

2 cups Atkins bake mix (or any combo of soy flour, vital wheat gluten, and almond meal)
1 cup crude wheat bran
1 1/2 cups erythritol
2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
Splash (technical term) of sugar-free vanilla syrup (optional, but it's delish)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 eggs
2 cups shredded (and patted dry) zucchini (about 2 medium)

You can be fancy about this, but I just go ahead and throw all the dry ingredients into my mixer and give it a whirl. Then add the applesauce, oil, eggs, and zucchini and mix well.

Divide between two greased (with cooking spray, not butter!) bread pans and bake at 350.... til it's done. I suppose it was around 50 minutes.

Enjoy slathered in I-can't-believe-it's-not-butter and enjoy the TBS marathon of The Bodyguard (RIP, Whitney).

TIP: If, the next morning, you find half the loaf gone.... blame your husband.